Better Not Pout

This is the post my pride doesn't want me to write. This is the toddler tantrum welling up inside of me. This is the statement that warrants a "well, life isn't fair." This is a curve in the vicious circle. Another curve to wind it tighter until it spins like a top. The kind with the psychedelic spiral that moves in and out as it dances on the table like a 19 year-old with a fake ID. This kind of pouting gets coal.

With that said, I fold my arms, protrude my bottom lip and commence my shameless kicking and screaming.

'Tis the season, I hear. Frosty weather bids warm bodies huddle together. Cozy fires illuminate faces already blurred by eggnog and other "Christmas spirits", and the mistletoe hangs in the doorway as a perpetual catalyst. An accomplice, no doubt, of that little winged son-of-a-bitch, out making pre-season preparations.

It all evades me.

This is fine though. I enjoy balancing the one who has no balls with the one who can't keep it in his pants. Between the two of them, I stay pretty occupied. Occupied with banging my head against the wall. Unfortunately, even with this occupation I have miraculously found time to notice all the happy couples swarming around me. What a joyous time of year. Allow me to paint for you a picture of the disastrous love-flood of 2008.

First, my brother- why, he's just so smitten. She, of course, is glowing like she captured a firefly and wiped its butt all over her face. Then there's Sergio and Loni (I've changed the names to both make me sound like I have exotic friends and to pretend like anyone reads this or cares) So Sergio and Loni were engaged only a short while ago but tragically ended it in tears. Don't worry though, they're ok now and both in love again! Can you believe it? It's a Christmas miracle!! Gosh, I'm so happy for them. Then there's Jaunita. She's hardly finished with her divorce and already, wait for it.. She's found another! And, by golly, they're just so so damn happy. So happy together. Then, last night I'm at a party and I see my friend Rufus. He's not with Tamika though.. hmm, that's peculiar, they've been together for like 3 years.. who is this impostor? So, I get the scoop and apparently they went their separate ways an amount of time ago best expressed in weeks and you'll never believe it but they are both blissfully happy with their new special friend. yep. wow, what a blessing for them. (by the way, if you are picking up on the sarcasm here, you should feel about as proud as you feel about knowing your ABCs, it's pretty dense) Do I need to keep going? Love is so thick in the air, I'm swimming. No, drowning. Cupid's really gotten greedy this time. I'm sure this will have drastic effects on the economy of love. The amount of new relationships being created is just obscene and I am bracing myself for the effects if this inflation. Terrance has a new gal. Payton is engaged!! Esmarelda has never been happier. Josie is having a fantasy New Year's Eve wedding. Hector is seeing his wildest dreams come true and Sheila is, omigosh, like, so, like, like, so, like happy. Like, oh my gosh, like, kill me.

I'm pretty sure it's been about 2 years since I've been in an actual relationship and what I've found since then has been: 1 cute but unavailable, 2 nice but um, yeah, no. A few "well that was fun, see ya later"s, and a couple "hmmm, this could be good, maybe this cou- ok, guess not.." All topped off with 1 completely perfect who's now engaged to not-me.

If this pouting does indeed find me coals on Christmas morn, I will hide on the tops of buildings and chuck them at happy couples passing below.