Friday, February 27, 2009

More fashion for ya

This is a video of highlights from fashion week in Paris for Spring 2009 collections. I have checked out a lot of the fall stuff but I'm just so ready for the weather to warm up that I find it hard to appreciate the wintery looks. This, however is exactly what i am ready for. enjoy.

Why the hell not...

One of those weird quiz things... It's not even 9 am which means there is really no hope for this day :\

A
- Available: Anywhere, anytime.
- Age:23
- Annoyance: snoring
- Animal: not a huge animal person.. but i still don't eat them

B
- Beer: Shiner Bock- for sentimental reasons, Miller lite for my love handles and my pocket book
- Birthday: Dec. 9th
- Best Friend: I'd say my sister but she's not very nice to me.* so.. Heather (hey heath!)
- Body Part on opposite sex: eyes
- Best feeling in the world: driving on a nice day with the windows down and a great song playing
- Been in Love: very much so
- Been on stage?: you mean my home? ahhaha...
- Believe in Magic: nope
- Believe in Santa: nope

C
- Candy: anything chocolate. (I'll wet myself for dark dark dark chocolate.. even though it's never really been necessary..)
- Color: green
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican Food: really? i'm from Texas.
- Cake or pie: cake!
- Continent to visit: Any of them except this one.. Probably Europe first
- Cheese: mmm

D
- Day or Night: day, then night.
- Dancing in the rain: sure

E
- Eyes: mine? brown- actually they're pretty much the same color as my hair..
- Everyone's got: that somethin
- Ever failed a class?: you betcha

F
- First thoughts waking up: "I need to get up"
- Food: oh man, i love food. sushi, indian, mexican, italian..

G
- Greatest Fear: failure
- Goals: to have a successful music career
- Gum: eclipse polar ice
- Get along with your parents: yep

H
- Hair Color: red
- Height: 5'7"
- Happy: most of the time
- Holiday: all of them!
- How do you want to die: i don't know, surprise me

I
- Ice Cream: cookie dough
- Instrument: piano

J
-Jewelry: pendant necklaces
-Job: sit around and try and entertain myself with things like this for 8 hours

K
- Kids: I'm sure some maternal instinct will kick in eventually
- Kickboxing or karate: I've always wanted to kickbox

L
- Love: absolutely
- Letter: K
-Laughed so hard you cried: hanging with my friend esther back in the day

M
- Milk flavor: soy
- Movie: science of sleep
- Motion sickness: not really
- McD’s or BK: BK, they have veggie burgers!

N
- Number: i don't give out my number..

O
- One Wish: I know its lame to say money, but if i had money it would really help me out.. I just want to be able to do all my art without trying to figure out how will make a living for me

P
- Perfect Pizza: I used to work a place called Tuscany Market- it's closed now but we used to make a pizza that was just heaven on earth, let's see if i can remember whats on it.. sun-dried tomatos, fresh tomatos, chevre.. I know there were some other things.. maybe onions or basil or spinach or something.. and there was a sort of canadian bacon but i took it off, but the crowning glory was.. (wait for it..) truffle oil!! oh. my. goodness. it was amazing. and i think i'm going to have to make that sometime actually.
- Pepsi/Coke: Dr. Pepper

Q
- Quail: huh?
- Quote: It's better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and release all doubt

R
- Reason to cry: there are lots
- Reality T.V.: kinda over it at the moment
- Radio Station: lightning 100
- Roll your tongue in a circle: yup
- Ring size: why do you ask?

S
- Song: of the moment? i just wrote one the other day that I really like- called.. um, whats it called? I think it'll be called "Wandering"
- Shoe size: 10 (i know..)
- Salad Dressing: goddess dressing! Uh-mazing!
- Sushi: yes, all over my body please.
- Skinny dipped?: you know it ;)
- Shower?: why yes i do
- Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries

T
- Tattoos?: one, but hopes of more
- Time for bed: I've been doing this new thing lately called trying to get enough sleep, so around 11 or 12
- Thunderstorms: love them!

U
- Unpredictable: probably less than i think

V
- Vacation spot(s): Perfect North Slopes :)

W
- Weakness: chocolate and blue eyes
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Heather? or maybe i act like her..
- Who makes you laugh the most: wow, so many people are coming to mind.. Aaron Thomas, um, Heather (again), my sister, Bryan Pulver (back in the day)
- Worst feeling: putting your foot in your mouth (not that i know anything about that)
- Wanted to be a model: embarrassingly i admit yes
- Worst Weather?: cold but no snow. what a jip

X
- X-Rays: nope

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: it was all yellow..

Z
- Zoo animal: which ever i can get the closest to..


I officially just wasted about 45 minutes. nice.

*I was upset with my sister when I did this. She is actually very nice to me.. most of the time.. she's just young.. this is really a whole other conversation..

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Luella

I've always liked Luella a lot but I think her new collection is brilliant. Watch the video.
wow, this is absolutely inspirational to me. I know something is good and right up my alley when it makes me want to go home and play dress up. I've always been into British things- i love the music, i love the style, and by god a man with an British accent can just about have anything he wants from me. That with the fact that I adore anything eclectic with a mix and match feel- well, I'm just in love. I love the British rebel school girl thing. And there's even some military hints which I can't get enough of at the moment! The whole thing has this perfectly lovely and yet delightfully sassy vibe- sophisticated with attitude and playfulness, and like the commentators said, its all this without being yesterday's grunge. "Pretty in Punk" :) Oh and I love the hot pink bangs.. I kinda want to do that... rull bad. Make sure and look at the slideshow too to see the collection closer..
This is one of my favorites:
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Her other collections are of course amazing as well. This is from Spring 2009-
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Are you kidding me?? genious..

Are you as bored as I am?

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1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click
http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop, picassa, or similar to put it all together.


By the way, don't judge my "album cover", all I had to work with was Paint cause I'm at work and thats all there is.. but don't worry about it, i'm an animal with Photoshop..

Monday, February 23, 2009

#4

I've always wanted to act but I don't think I'd be very good at it..

Well I was thoroughly entertained...

Things that I loved about the 2009 Academy Awards:

1. Beyonce + Wolverine = What my life has been missing.

2. Beyonce working "At Last" into the medley. You tell her, Bouncy.

3. Whoever went to the shot of Brad and Angelina while Jenifer Aniston was presenting. Wow, really?? Gotta love the plastered, awkward, I-know-everyone-is-looking-at-us smiles.

4. "Domo Arigato Mr. Robato". yes.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Nemo

I'm a vegetarian. But I'm a bad vegetarian. I am kinda lax on fish. When I first became a veg, I didn't eat fish but slowly I started eating it again here and there. The reasons for this are that cans of tuna are cheap and i'm broke. It also opens up options for eating out and at people's houses. I don't eat much at all other than those few times though. My sister is a vegan. She sent me this today. It's not as gross as other peta videos but still be careful if you have a weak stomach. For some reason I'm not that moved by the first section. Maybe it's unfair to feel bad for land animals and not for sea animals but it just doesn't get me as much. The second part (i think that's the part on your health..?) got me thinking though. I definitely have trouble with depression and as of late, trouble sleeping. And I realized, watching this video- and this may or may not be a coincidence- but I hadn't been buying tuna at all for several months until recently and I also had not had my typical minor depression bouts until recently. So I think I may try and go off fish just to see if it helps. Why not? I don't eat much of it anyway..

Monday, February 16, 2009

God is Real.

He is. Sorry if you don't want to believe it but its true. Spend any amount of time honestly looking and you will see. I've talked about what I am going through in my spiritual life in previous posts. I am basically searching for truth, reevaluating ideas that I've grown up with, refreshing my beliefs. I'm catching hollow phrases when they pop up as answers to important questions. Answers such as, "that's just not something we're meant to understand" or "Jesus said 'blessed are those who believe and have not seen' you doubting Thomas." While its true that we cannot understand everything in the world or about God, for the moment, and for the sake of my quest, I will not accept such answers. With that said, I am excited to tell you that I am making progress! Before last night I felt that I was only moving backward- the image of a kid trying to climb up the slide but skidding slowly backward instead to the squeak of skin on plastic- but thanks to a dear friend, who spent several hours talking with me, I have come to a fundamental realization. There is a God. He is here. He can interact with me. There is a spiritual realm. If you know me, you may say, "um, you've been a Christian for what? 15 years? and you are just now having a realization that there is a God?" Without spending much time on why I've decided to do so just understand it this way: I've thrown it all away and am starting with a clean slate. Whether there is a God and how interactive He is with me is the foundation. I need to believe it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I do believe it and I'm nearing the 'shadow of a doubt' place. Without going into too much detail on what he and I talked about and what was more specifically revealed to me, I'll tell you that God and I had a moment. But what really seals the deal is this. Last night when I was leaving his house, I backed into his sisters car. Then this morning, I missed my alarm, woke up at the time I'm supposed to leave my house, and my car wouldn't start; my friend came over to jump it but when she opened the hood, all that was wrong was that the connector was off of the battery thing (like my technical terms?). So I was late for work. When I got to work, I realized that left my breakfast and lunch which were in a bag. I met a friend for lunch and on the way back I was running late (my fault pretty much) and so I was speeding and got a ticket. Here is what I believe. I am learning some very important truths about God. I am learning to identify some very crippling lies. Someone does not want me to know these things. Someone does not want me to understand what it means to have a relationship with God. Unfortunately for them, I can see what is going on and the fact that i am upsetting them only lets me know I am getting ever closer to what I am looking for. I know God is real because my digging is causing a stir. My probing is making darkness uncomfortable. But I have nothing to feel because God is light. And light is, well, everything.


One more thought.. I just thought of this. Maybe this is a good comparison to my present Spiritual endeavor. Lets say you know conversational Spanish because you had a foreign exchange student come live with you. You even went to Mexico with him and visited his family. You could talk to everyone just fine but occasionally a phrase went over your head. Later you want to study and really know and understand the language. You want to know why certain things are conjugated in the different forms, you want to know where the language came from, what all the idioms and phrases mean. You want to know the language not just speak it. I want to know God, not just speak Christian.

That may not make sense to you. I sometimes think of really far-fetched analogies.. I always have actually. I learned to keep them to myself, though, after, in Sunday school, I compared God to the girl at school who had the perfect pony-tail and "as hard as I try I will never be like her. I just can't." "yeesss.... uh, that's right, Katie... um, yeah.." Well, it made sense to me!

Anyway, I learned so many things last night, I can't even begin to write them down. There is a lot of metal sorting out to be done. But I can tell you that God feels close and I like that.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Who is Sylvia Fairfax?




ColorQuiz.comSylvia+Fairfax took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in ..."


Click here to read the rest of the results.





*Some of this is true, but not the part about holding back emotionally or being very sensitive.. I really don't think I would ever describe myself as sensitive..

**Oh and Sylvia Fairfax is my new alter ego.

How Sweet

I am exceptionally bored today. I'll pretend for the sake of this post that I don't know why. Must be something to do with Friday the 13th... Maybe I should watch a scary movie at my desk today! I tried to read. I can't focus on my book. I started reading this book months ago and it just couldn't hold my attention so I abandoned it for a while. I hate not finishing books though; i feel like they hang in the back of my mind. So I picked it up again a couple days ago and I still cannot seem to keep it going. I wouldn't say its boring... exactly.. but, um, maybe a little. yeah it's kinda boring. I have to finish it though. Today is not the day, however. I feel like a 6 year old with ADD. Normally writing is the one thing that I can get lost in and reach that happy "where did the time go" place. So here's hoping. (so far it's been.. 3 minutes. hmm.)

My friend, Lauren, who lives down the street from my old residence, called yesterday and said that she saw a cat that looked like Sylvia. Remember Sylvie? I haven't talked about her in a while but I still really miss her. I lost her shortly after moving to my new place. As I was going through the process of trying to find her, I heard all the pet-loss success and failure stories. "My cat came home after 6 months!" "Mine was stuck under the house for a week!" I heard that sometimes cats get lost in new surroundings and actually find their way back to the old house! So, I posted the signs, went to the shelters, searched the streets: no Sylvie. There was only so much that could be done. I do miss her. I promise I'm not like Angela on the office, but I really liked her. She was my little grey buddy! Anyway, Lauren said she saw a cat that looked like her but couldn't catch her. Now I've got it in my head that she found her way all the way back to East Nashville and right to my old street. I wonder though, if she was that close, why wouldn't she show up at the old house? My friends still live there and would recognize her. Hmm... up til now I had assumed that she was taken in by someone because she has no collar and is so sweet and friendly. I'd just be elated if I were to find her. Here's hoping.

I'm very happy right now. It actually makes me nervous how well things are going. First of all, Trudy Chase is moving along. We are practicing with both pianos now and can see the road very clearly. It's just a matter of taking the steps one by one, but we know we'll get there. It's very exciting to me. Musically, its exactly what I want to be doing and what I've wanted to be doing for a long time. I've finally put my finger on it. Also, in spite of myself I must mention, there's a man that has just come into my life that seems too good to be real. I like my job, for what it is. I am pleased with my daily life- happy to actually have time. Of course, I don't have any money but I don't care. I am more excited to be available to help my friends and family, to create art regularly, to participate in people's lives. It's satisfying me immensely in this time of my life. (And as a little side-note/update, my car is officially paid off TODAY!) I am happy. It makes me nervous. I am fighting with the fear (and the lie) that God will take things from me in order for me to "grow", or because it's not fair for so many people to be suffering and for me to be happy, or because that's just the way this roller coaster of a life goes.

The perception of God- that he wants to 'teach me a lesson'- is one of many I have that am reviewing and reforming. I've grown up being taught many things about the Creator. Many ideas have been ingrained in me so deeply that they would be the lines in a fingerprint of my soul. But now, at 23, I want to open myself up, untangle some of the webbings of who I am, sand away some of the callous and nourish my childishness. Who is God? Who do I believe him to be now, as an adult? One of the major issues that I am addressing is free will vs. free choice. In my opinion, this has a lot to do with who He is in my life.

I was recently presented with some information that almost literally shook my spiritual foundation. For a moment I felt like the walls were collapsing. Calling my mom for comfort only supported the likening of God to a baby blanket. I felt like a child- not in a barefoot, mud pie kinda way, but the way that I felt the night I got lost on my bike and it got dark. Terror and confusion. I was able to calm myself with reassuring logic (which is somewhat ironic) and can say that only a few of the shakers persist. There is a heaviness that remains, however, as aftermath, and a tenderness in certain places that I won't ignore. I have a few books in line to follow The Case For Christ, including one that will be quite opposite. But in my quest for truth I think it will be important to challenge myself with opposing views. Or maybe I just learned a lesson from how easily my foundation shook. To be honest, and I hate to conclude this way, but I've lost focus because someone just gave me the hugest cupcake I've ever had and a few finger-fulls of icing has my mind already going numb from the sugar. I'll have to continue on this subject later.

I think I just got a cavity.

#3

I don't like the phrase "Take Care". Could be because of Sienfeld...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

#2

I have a thing about drinking liquids out of their appropriate containers. For example, I was once served hot tea out of a clear glass, like a water glass. nope, not ok. I'm pretty sure I never went back there. I don't like wine out of a champagne glass or a desert glass (you know the ones that resemble wine glasses but ARE NOT) or a brandy glass- just cause it has a stem does not make it a wine glass. The exceptions are: at my friend Kacie's house (well, her old house, when she lived in this country), wine is drank (drunk? drinked?) from coffee mugs. That's just what you do at her house. You drink from wine mugs. Also, I don't mind hot tea from a coffee mug, I don't even own any proper tea cups. And I don't go as far as pairing the appropriate wine with the wine glass, just as long as it is a wine glass. I'd like to, actually, but I get over it cause i'm not that rich. I have a set of 12 wine glasses from big lots. But I will not drink water out of them. And yes the only things I drink are tea, water and wine. basically.

Indeed

One of my favorite posts from one of my favorite writers. Check it out, its very good.

Monday, February 9, 2009

#1

I like to have everything put up, all my stuff together with the lights and computer off and my hand on the door handle at exactly 4:59 but not earlier when leaving work. Then I wait to hear the automatic door lock and I leave.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Can't Sleep

I find him interesting
intriguing
beautifully distracting
There a rhythm to the things he says
It bounces in my head
echoing
It's 5 am and I should be sleeping
but my mind is aimlessly repeating
words and sounds and motions
I'm not happy to be helpless
I feel open and exposed
In a scary and delightful way
This is strange
I'm very good at sleeping
But he's got me rolling
I'm so uncomfortable
this is so unfortunately enjoyable
I'm terrified
I just want to sleep
I just want to sleep until I can see him again
What is going on
Letters and spaces
capitalized and punctuated
fill my head please
replace this madness for a few hours

*Disclaimer: This is not a poem. These are the stupid ramblings of my mind at 5 am when I've finally given up pressing my eyelids shut and trying to fill my mind with zeros just to take up space and find some rest. This is the kind of thing I may dissect later and write a song about.. or not.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Just satisfying my soul today...

It's free-for-all-friday! I'm just gonna keep this window open and share with you the random things that go through my mind.
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I've always loved Kate Moss's style. It's like mine, but with money... :) and skinnier.

Are you kidding me? she's just ridiculously hot.
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I don't like to admit things like this, but, I am kinda trying to lose a couple pounds right now.. just a couple.. I'm keeping track of everything at myfitnesspal.com and it's actually really helping. I also started exercising about 4 times a week and am going to start training for the music city half marathon that's in April. I just have these little places where I haven't been chubby before and now I am... Pictures like to one above inspire me! I'm young enough, i could look like that! I'm supposed to go running with some people tomorrow but I'm going skiing instead :) ha.

On facebook, there's this thing going around where you write a note with 25 random things about yourself in it and tag your friends in it and they're supposed to do the same... I haven't done it yet. At first it was because i don't like those chain things and i thought 'if you wanna know about me then hang out with me in person and ask!' but now the urge to talk about myself is getting pretty strong and i'm enjoying reading other peoples' a lot... I've been reading so many that through out the day i think of things that would be on my list- i'll do something and then think to myself "#19. I always do such and such.." It's getting kinda weird. SO, i think i'll start listing them on here sporadically and if i come up with a satisfactory list of 25 then MAYBE i'll post it on facebook. So, um.... see? i can't think of anything.

Here's more Kate Moss for you. (i google image searched her..)
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you know what i love about this picture? the carpet and the walls :) snake skin walls?? are you serious?? amazing. I sent this pic to my sister (who i live with [should that have been whom?]) and said, 'we need some ridiculousness in our apartment'. so we're working on it. she bought some awesome little turquoise monster trinket.. it's pretty sweet. still i'm thinkin bigger-like a big crazy rug or tapestry or something.. although i think the little monster trinket was cheaper..

Hey, so i'm doing really well on my money stuff! i haven't really spent any money all week! until yesterday, my sister and i went out to this amazing sushi place downtown called sam's sushi- if you live in nashville it is a MUST. HUGE sushi rolls for so cheap. It's this tiny little place downtown- i mean tiny- and it's run by Sam, just Sam. and he doesn't allow tipping. He's there everyday from 11 or 12 to 8. We were there at around 6 but he gave us the lunch special which is 2 rolls for 4.75! and they're big, i couldn't eat both, i brought leftovers for lunch today. anyway, other than that, i haven't spent anything. just nine more days to go til i get paid again. It won't be much of a different situation then though... i'll be paying bills with every dollar and then living on the pennies that are left. But that's ok cause I'm enjoying actually having time to do things like help my parents move last weekend, hang out with Meredith yesterday and this weekend with Brian (who was on Access Hollywood last night!! woot!) anyway, i'm proud of myself though cause i'm really bad about throwing caution to the wind and just sayin screw it. (i do need to find a little extra income however.. just some part-time here and there work, nannying or something)

So Trudy Chase is really coming along.. We got some bells and have been messing with them, it's really fun. I want to find some other random instruments to play with. We set up a photoshoot with my friend Stephanie and here are somethings that inspire me in one way or another for the shoot-
I like how this pic looks, i'll have to ask her how to get that effect...
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I like how this one is on a plain wall, i think it would be cool to do some like that, especially a white wall with white or plain clothes, but our hair is red so it'd really stand out
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here are some examples of pics of two people:
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Here's some others that i just like:
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Ok well its lunch time so bye.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Fat Kid-alicious

You probably know that I work part time as a receptionista. I answer the phones and receive packages and greet the few people that come in. That's what I do with about 1/10th of my time here. The rest is spent blogging, online shopping, facebooking, reading, or trying to be productive with personal stuff. Occasionally someone will come by to brown-nose someone in the company and they'll entrust me to deliver the goodie(s) and/or card(s). I smile, thank them and wait for the elevator door to shut behind them before inspecting the package and devising a plan to extract my "commission". In order for me to partake unnoticed, the package must be resealable (a box, a tin can or some that ties shut)and the treats must be in multiples (cookies, candies, not a box of chocolates, not a cake.. you get it). If I find that I can take a reasonable amount out, undetected, you better believe i do. So today when a local hotel rep dropped a little Valentine's treat off for ol' Susan, I was delighted to see that the plastic resealable container contained M&Ms. Piece a cake. So I had a few. Then a few more. Then just a couple more... And now, well, it looks like someone at the hotel didn't buy enough M&Ms... So tell me first of all, how fat kid is this, and second, how wrong would it be to eat them all and throw away the container and just give her the card?? yeah, i know.... VERY fat kid and quite wrong. ok ok.


*Update: Just to let you know, i just called her to let her know they're up here. happy now?


*Final Update: She just came up here to get them and I think she was a little suspicious... she looked at the can funny and said, "hmm, that's odd." I shrugged. Then she offered me some and I said, "sure, thanks!"

Monday, February 2, 2009

money money money money

I suppose I'm not the only one trying to save money and cut back on spending in a time like this but this is no new trick for me. We artists are used to income that is only dependable in the fact that is low. It's ok. We just earn here and spend there and maybe save a little here. I'm proud to say, though, and speaking very generally of course, that we do know how to enjoy life. We've decided to sacrifice certain things because we want our lives filled with inspiration and beauty. Or perhaps it was a decision made for us when we simply weren't blessed with the money-managing skills but instead with a set of useless beautifying tricks. Ok, yes, I'm just talking about myself. So this is where I am and this is where I have been. I go through the phases- 2 jobs, 1 job, busy, lazy, productive, spending, hoarding, saving- but I haven't given up finding a beautifully happy medium where I live at peace with my creative soul as well as the creditors. I am now in the verge of what I believe may be that very happy place. Here's what happened:

A couple months ago, I was working steady two part time jobs, making enough money to live on with minimal stress (for a frame of reference, that was no more than $2000 a month). I was fired from one job right before Christmas, leaving working 24 hours a week at an office and bringing home about $1000 a month. My being let go had nothing to do with the economy and I could get another restaurant job easily, i'm sure, if i were to look. I wrote what happened earlier if you wanna read what happened.. just some bullshit. Anyway, I really enjoyed having more time to spend with all the family that came into town and getting to be a part of all the fun Holiday events, including New Year's Eve which I would have had to work. As the holiday season settled down like confetti, I braced myself for what I knew would come as the last remnants of full time employment trickled away. I feel as if I am hinging on with one hand as a storm blows by. I can see the end and I just have to hang on! You see, my car, which represents a substantial portion of my bills, will be paid off in mere weeks and I have also been getting some vocal work here and there which could increase to a small but significant income supplement and with hard work, self-control, and creativity I could live on only this one job! Why is that so important you ask? Well, I will tell you. My eyes have been opened since being fired. I have made new friends, been there for people when they needed someone, supported my friends' art, written more, read more, gotten involved and actually met people at my church, I've been creating more art, and most importantly been making A LOT of progress with my music! This is what my life is about. If the trade-off is that i get to go to my friend's show but I can't drink at it cause i don't have any money, well, that's perfectly fine! I'll take it! Or maybe I get to spend the day writing music at home, but that means I can't go to the movies. No problem! However, these scenarios will quickly turn into ones such as: Can't pay my rent cause I had to fix my tire. You see, where the barely hanging on image shows up. But I have a newly strengthened will to live the life that is barely visible through the swirl of this financial storm: a life lived fully yet creatively within my means while building and aiming for a bright future. (haha that sounded like some sort of purpose statement or something..)

Wow, I'm long-winded today. I apologize to all two of you reading this. All of this has really been on my mind though lately. I just feel that I am in a very defining, pivotal, significant moment as far as this stuff goes right now, with being fired and being left with one job that is sooo close to enough and one that I actually like, and with my car about to be paid off and with so much happening with my music that I really need time for and then on top of all that, check this out. I never get to go to church things (or rather used to never get to) but I went to a group the other day for college age kids that was going to be discussing 'busy-ness'. I was actually a little bit disappointed when I heard the topic because i thought, 'I'm the least busy that I've been in a long time, this won't really apply to me', but I went to socialize and meet people from my church. I actually ended up getting a ton out of it! What I took was actually more of a look at values than busy-ness. Since that discussion I have been exploring the questioning of standards like 40 hour work weeks and week long vacations and credit cards and laziness. Am I lazy if I actually get enough sleep every night? Am I lazy if I only work 24 hours a week? Am I lazy to actually break on the weekend? Is a business man lazy if he leaves work everyday to eat dinner with his family? I think it's smart to take a look and perhaps readjust our American programming to line up with what's really important in life and that is people.

My goodness, I am the queen of tangents. What I intended on saying was a much more concise note of my strong desire to and need to save money in order to protect my precious freedom. Something like: Since having a significant portion of my income detached, instead of trying to repair the hole, I am adjusting my life in an attempt to fill the time instead of pass the time- to fill my life instead of watch it pass me by. Time that would be spent aimlessly earning money to essentially throw away will be creatively enjoyed with people that I love, doing things that lift my soul. I also wanted to pass along some moolah-saving tricks I've come across in my research.

Of course there are the usual things, most of which are old news to me: pack your lunch for work, do your own mani's, buy boxed wine (i promise it's not that bad), trade a night out for a game night or movie night in, coupons, generic products, matinees, craigslist (I'm an addict), etc... But let's dig a little deeper. This is what I call "How to Live on Love":

I bought $16 worth of groceries today and I am determined for them to last me 3 weeks. How do I plan on doing this? Well, I bought really cheap cans of soup and black beans, a bag of apples, saltine crackers, tuna and brown rice- not the instant kind, oatmeal- not the individual packets, and at home I think I have a little bit of pasta, potatoes and condiments. I am going to visit my parents for dinner often, attend evening events with food (church things, parties, etc), take free food whenever offered, only drink free alcohol, and take tea from work (ok, that's a little wrong..) and not munch just for the hell of it (which will also be good for my figure). If I have to go out to eat (maybe like a birthday or something) I'll pre-eat and then eat the free rolls or chips! (also just a tiny bit wrong) And if anyone has left-overs they are not taking, I will unashamedly box that shit up.
I am going to get very creative with how I hang out with friends. For example,
friend: Hey wanna get coffee?
me: Why don't we make some at my house and sit out on the balcony?
friend: wow! you're so creatively frugal!
Or when I'm bored and i call Aaron and he comes over and we watch TV for a little bit and then say what do you wanna do? i don't have any money. yeah, me neither. hmm.. I wil suggest that we just take a couple cds and go drive to the park or somewhere and sit in the car and listen to them. Or have some people over to play cards. And when the weather gets nice there will be even more possibilities! I used to do a lot of fun free things like sneak into pools at night and stuff. I guess those things are childish but we used to have fun! haha
The other day i hung out with my brother and his gf and Aaron and we made stuff out of beads.. random.. but fun! anyway, you can see some of the ways i want to be more creative with my recreational time.
Other ways to save money are go here, take free things, move to another country, always think twice before purchasing (Do I really need this? How could I get it for free or at least cheaper?), make stuff-i make my clothes and furniture (but I'm pretty crafty), go to house parties instead of out to a bar, look in the paper for free events, garage sales, waste your time writing the longest post ever, work out/run outside instead of the gym,
Basically my goal is to not spend any money at all, except for bills and food and gas. That's not entirely possible but it makes it way more likely that i will spend next to nothing. I'll keep you updated on how it's going.