Bad Blogger!

I'm sorry, i've been so lame lately! i haven't felt like i really had anything cohesive to say. I've felt very scattered. But i'm kinda always like that i guess.. so here's no effort to resolve that. Here's my brain (on no substance)

So, i'm 23 now. that's thrilling. I'm actually really excited about this year. I think this is the one. the big one. we'll see.

I got a new phone for my birthday. the samsung "Behold" i may have already metioned that.. it's cool.

My company christmas party is tonight. should be fun. Our CFO walked by my desk yesterday and said "are you going to the christmas party?" (actually i'm sure its probably called a "holiday party") I said yeah and she said "well.. it's always interesting.. usually fun." and i think that sounds like a party i want to be at.

I've kinda been a bitch to my sister lately.. not sure why.. stress, pms, something.. i feel bad about it. cause i really like her.

this:


Sometimes i think i'm still in love with the person who cares like this. even though i don't know him anymore.

what's wrong with me.

i don't want to talk about this. but. i'm thinking about it now. but i don't want it on paper. but i'm still typing. and i dream about him a lot. damnit.

How is this still haunting me
I've waited as long as they said I would need
It seems you have forgotten me
It's something I thought I'd be happy to see
I've prayed for you to find your peace
Thought I'd have long since been set free
But I remain in a love that's died
A love that now has just one side
Sometimes it fades when I close my eyes
To an image burned in red and white
But the memories are sewn into my mind
with thread as long as the tears I've cried

I don't really like that poem. I wrote it and I did mean it and feel it but it's so dramatic. I'm not in a Jane Austen book and I will be ok. I don't know why I get like this. Probably cause I try not to need anyone. Music is my boyfriend :)haha.. wow, did not intend to write about this.

Anyway. I'm really looking forward to the party tonight. And my cute date. It'll be fun.