Happy Things

My BFFWB and I drove a Uhaul from Louisiana to TN yesterday and it was glorious. Glorious I tell you. Not only am I pretty sure I could scoop poop all day with him and still have the best day of my life but we spent a good 5 hours coming up with and discussing a brilliant plan. I can't say much (actually I could but it feels very important to pretend its some sort of secret- heather, call me) but I will tell you it involves music, a video camera, and Europe.
So, as far as music goes, that is what I am working towards. It doesn't change much of what I was already focusing on with Trudy Chase. We are still working on getting a good set solidified and getting our musicians together, booking some shows and getting merch. Now we just add to that saving for a trip to Europe.

Other happy things from this past week include spending the weekend in New Orleans (hence the driving back from New Orleans) and some delicious developments with the job situation.

First of all- New Orleans was an amazing time.

What a cool city. It certainly has a dark side though. You can feel it. It's like that hot guy with the bad boy image, only he ain't no James Dean, he's the real deal, he's real trouble. That's N'awlins. But hey, one night can't do any harm huh? We went down to Bourbon Street on Saturday night. We had some absolutely sinful Cajun food and daiquiris and sang karaoke.. it was delightful. Then, Sunday, we spent by the pool until it got too hot and we went out for [veggie] burgers and chocolate shakes. When we got back, Aaron and I watched the sun fade, reducing the color palate of our world to blue and gold. Then at the exact right moment, we were showered with one of those perfect southern summer storms. We watched the rain and then went and got some beer. Perfect little mini-vacation.

On the job front, I put together my portfolio and showed my boss and she loved it! LOVED it! So what started as an "internship" and then turned into my training for a position as "art consultant" has now become "Katie, I'm going to try and use your art in every one of my jobs. And if I need something that you don't have, I'll just have you paint it. Let's see, this one we'll price at $600.. this one $800.. this one, hm, about $1200.." HA! yessssss!!!! So, now it's time to paint paint paint paint paint cause I gots some money to make!

I can't remember what all I've put up here but here's one I've recently finished:

That is one of the ones for sale (anyone?? ha) It's actually a pretty difficult thing to start selling these peices.. I love them all! I decided to keep one though. I'm keeping my favorite one. But it will still be hard to see the ones of my sister and my grandma go.. I really honestly can't think about it too much. In fact I'm going to stop talking about it right now.


So, in conclusion, happy freakin times up in here.







Oh and one last thing...



:)

Here.

Let me tell you what. Figuring out what to do with your life is hard. Especially because it doesn't pause for you to figure it all out.

Yesterday I was at my new job and I had a "why the hell am I here?" moment. Here's what I thought: Considering the fact that I'm not getting paid and it's taking up 2 full days a week, I could be going to school instead. I've been counting it a positive to be learning new things and making connections without having to pay- free school- but the difference is that no matter how much knowledge gets in my head and money stays in my pocket, I will not have that bullshit piece of paper to show poeple and say "look how much I know!" I don't think I care really but it's worth mentioning because it does cross my mind from time to time. The truth is though, the other designer that I work with has a degree in interior design and she started out for free just like me and I have to opportunity to move into a position just like the one she is in. So what is the difference? I'm not quite sure so I just keep wondering.

Should I rent a studio and spend my days making paintings that I sell for prices I can't believe people would pay just like the artist I visited yesterday? She's been painting for only 2 years; she rents a modest space with 3 other artist and to be honest, I'm better. Personality-wise, I think I'm more meant for locking myself away in a creative box, blaring music and getting paint all over my jeans. But you know what? you can hide away in a closet painting Picassos all day but if you don't know anyone but your starving artist cell-mates, then no one will buy them. So perhaps that is where I am right now. I am making connections in a world that I need.

Or maybe I need to be focusing on music. Maybe I just need to be focusing- on anything! Maybe I need to just forget about a social life. Maybe I need to work 24/7- painting, singing, writing, promoting, sewing, thinking, reading, studying, creating, never sleeping. Maybe, I should just start roaming the earth. Maybe I should learn the guitar. Maybe I should go overseas. Maybe- maybe- maybe- what if? what if? what if???

No matter how many what-ifs-per-second my mind is travelling at, I always land on this: I am here. I may want to be there but I am here. It's the 'how to live in the moment while working toward to future' dilemma. It's a tough one. I guess what it means to me right now is keeping an eye on what/who i want to be and where I want to go but also having a clear map of what it will take to end up there. Visualizing the connecting dots just as I visualize my end goal. Right now, I am going to stick out this internship and let it be what it will be. I know I can learn a lot and make a lot of connections here and so whether this or school is better for that is not important I suppose, because I'm not in school, I'm here.

I think I just lost my train of thought a little bit so I'm gonna end this ramble session.

Artist's Statement

I'm studying my art books and I've got it on the brain. I thought I would share something I wrote a couple weeks ago in my little journal thing that I keep with me. I was trying to begin a rough draft or at least get some ideas down in preparation for writing an "artist's statement". I recently learned that this is something artist's do when displaying a collection. Since I am hopefully going to be doing just that very soon, I thought I'd give it a try. I was recommended to begin with an explanation of my philosophy behind creating art, or something to that effect. I just started writing and this came out.

May 29, 2009

When I encounter certain things- things that I find beautiful or intriguing or nostalgic or even disturbing- and I feel them soak into me and move inside my skin and my bones and my stomach, stirring up my insides until I think I may burst, I call it inspiration. Painting, for me, is releasing these things back into the world in a new form. My art is an amalgamation of everything I've ever seen, felt, and heard. It's as innate and necessary as the digestion of food. The consumption and processing of the beauty of the world.


Well, anyways, its a start. I say 'thing' a lot at first.. but I couldn't figure out a better word cause I didn't want to limit it to images, sounds, or anything specific like that. Also, i am sorta comparing my art to poop. hmm.

Art

"Art is the desperate attempt to recreate that which we cannot capture."
-me (who the eff quotes themself? loser...)

As you know, last week I started an internship with an interior designer. So far, it's still going well, except for the fact that I was working until 11pm last night and at least 5 hours of the day was spent helping my boss detail her car. But, its ok, it's all part of the deal. I'm learning a lot. It's free school. Anyway, in my interview I brought a small portfolio of art projects that I did a couple years ago when I worked for another interior design firm but not my personal art- the painting I've been doing. My boss wants to see that stuff so I started taking pics of everything yesterday and while I was at it I figured I might as well get out some older stuff and take pics of that too. I took most of them on my digital camera but then it froze for a while (awesome.) so I took the rest with my phone. Anyway, point is- I thought I'd post some of the older stuff, just for fun.
Here's a self portrait that I did when I took a drawing class at ACC- one of the only college classes I've taken. I think this was probably charcoal..?

Compare that to a recent self portrait sketch (that is now a painting- this is not the finished product- I'll show you that one sometime). This was charcoal too (i think.. isn't it sad that i forget the mediums?)

you know what I just noticed looking at these two? I think I'm a little too nice to myself when it comes to my nose.. haha really though, i try to be as accurate as possible in drawing myself- or anyone actually- but still i think i make my nose a little smaller than it is.. interesting.. i hadn't noticed that before..
Anyway, next- here are a couple still-life drawings also from my college days (haha yeah i can't really say that...) To be honest, I've kinda forgotten what all the different pencils and charcoal and graphite things are called- i have a ton of them and i always just mix em up, so the medium is um, all of the above. the skull is probably charcoal and the plates are probably graphite..




I loved that class.. probably because, well, I guess since it's my blog i'm allowed to just be honest and say, i was by far the best in the class. I really don't even think that's bragging because when you're doing a real life drawing of a still life- where the point is to copy whats in front of you- then it's just like, ok, who's looks the most like whats sitting in front of you? ok. anyway, enough of that.. you egotist. if that's not a word I'm making it one. ok, hrm, moving right along..
Here's one of my first paintings- from 10th grade I think.

Here are a couple small ones that I did a few years ago.. i don't really like these that much actually but it was when i first started really wanting to paint




Lets see.. is there anything else worth showing... oh, here's one- this is also from my drawing class but I thought it was a kind of cool random thing to draw so I recently cropped and framed it, using the inside of a piece of cardboard, the corrugated part, painted, as the "matte".. it was a cool idea but i need glass for the frame cause it looks sloppy without it..


So there you have it. A little bit of the history of my art. And might I add, these are all for sale. haha, pretty sure only 2 people read this... so um, Heather, you got your checkbook out? I'll give you a bff discount! :) just kidding.... about the discount, not about the other stuff.. and I'm just kidding again! oh gosh, someone stop me...
Ok, I'd like to conclude this post by bringing us up to date with my very most recent painting. (might do more to the background but its at least very close to being done..)

Hump Day Rants

So I have a couple things to say today. First of all, I feel pretty crappy right now and am very happy that I have a doctor appt tomorrow to figure this shit out. Ok wait, actually that was a bit misleading.. I have been having some health issues and I do have an appt tomorrow that I'm looking forward to because it's been about a month with this annoying and sometimes very painful issue, BUT I have to admit that my feeling crappy at this moment has a little more to do with too much alcohol and too little sleep last night.. soooo.. my bad. But nevertheless, I've got a headache and my throat hurts.

I would like to take a moment and rant about something. Well, 3 things actually. First up- telemarketers. I'm generally nice to them cause I know they are just doing their job and lets be honest, it's a sucky job. And I know even the higher-ups need to make money and they have to try and sell their stuff and whatever.. BUT- don't try and trick me. I'll cut you.
There is a company that always calls and they say something like this- "Hey this is --- with [some copier company or something like that], we're sending you a new book for the copier and I just need to get the model number.." something like that anyway.. Some of them are really good and so the first time they called I thought someone had requested that they send some replacement something or other for the copier and so I'm here tryin to find the model number and then he has to confirm the address and he just keeps needing more and more info until he is asking me to "confirm" something or other and I start to feel like this isn't my turf anymore so I tell him I'm just the receptionist and I can't "confirm" anything. So I pass him along and the IT guy figures out its a scam. So, it's a bit of a mess and I look and feel stupid. But I learned a valuable lesson I suppose. After a while they called again, someone new, with the same stupid line and I just said "no thank you." and they hung up. didn't say anything just hung up like I had just ruined their little game. I thought that was pretty rude. They just called again today (someone else- who DID sound like a telemarketer) and I said "no." and she hung up too. It makes me think that is what they're told to do- just hang up! Assholes. It just really pisses me off that they are trying to trick people into ordering something.

Ok, moving right along. I won't spend much time on this topic, but there is a girl on facebook that I- ooh, man, I just.. well, I'll just say I think she is an effing crazy bitch and a waste of space. Here's the short story. There's a person that I am "friends" with on fb that I don't think I actually know- i think he adds a lot of people that he doesn't know, not sure why.. But anyway, I guess he added this girl (who i also don't know) and she didn't like that so she made a group that said "I don't know ---- but he added me" ok, weirdo, just deny him and move on with your life. But she didn't; she made another group- "I don't know ---- but he added me twice" She made more and more groups- "I don't know ---- but he added me 5 times", "I'm gonna kick ---- in the balls", "---- got me kicked off facebook but I got back on", "---- can suck a big dick" and they got worse and worse and over the last couple months I swear she's made at least 30 or 40 groups. At one point I sent a not so nice but really not that mean (didn't say what i wanted to say) email saying keep me out of this- stop sending me group invites [you crazy whore]. I've even reported and blocked her and- no good. I still get all her psycho invites. I don't really know what to do but I want to punch her in her stupid i-need-a-hobby face. Too bad I have NO CLUE who she is! how am i even involved in this mess??

anyway, so theres that... but don't worry, there's more. Next up is the stupid chef from The Palm. Listen buddy, I'm vegan, it doesn't mean I don't have taste buds! Seriously, I just cannot believe that a chef would send this out of the kitchen:

On top of the fact that it looks like I just raided the produce section and am about ready to check out (or just moved the lawn), how about some spices or something? hell, salt! Damn. I hate to complain because my sweet friend took me out to eat and its a really upscale place and it was really nice of him to take me there and call ahead to make sure they would have something that I could eat. But honestly, I was kind of insulted. My friend is a vegetarian and they made him a nice pasta dish (which I'm pretty sure was vegan minus the parmesan cheese). For those of you who don't know, its very common for a vegan or vegetarian to ask the chef to put something together for them. I've done it plenty of times and been served something delicious. I'm not a chef but I can tell you if I was I would NEVER send something out of my kithcen that looked like that. Funny thing is, I went out for mexican the night before and got veggie fajitas and asked them to cook them in oil instead of butter and it was freaking delicious. and vegan. peppers, mushrooms, onions, rice, guac- mmmm. It was 7 dollars.

Ok, I'll stop. There are some happy things I could talk about too.. Like my new internship is going well and my boss has decided that she would like me to focus on the art side of the whole thing. More on this later. But I've already titled this post Hump Day Rants and so I'll have to save positive thinking for later.

TFLN

I've been on textsfromlastnight.com for the last hour. Here are some highlights:

(403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

(215): I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

(919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

(970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.

(403): If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

Corn Carpet

I started my internship yesterday. Yay! I'm interning for 3 months (and then hopefully getting paid after that) with an interior design company called JL Design. It was a great first day. I've really missed being around interior design and I think this will be just what I need to satisfy that part of me. Yesterday was mostly me following around one of the designers and asking a ton of questions but it was still very exciting for me. I love what the company does- mostly residential, from rebuilds and remodels to one-room makeovers to model staging. It's very urban and modern- they do a lot of lofts- but the designers have very ecclectic tastes like I do. They are also very interested in green design and are working on their certification to be 'green designers'. (And my boss is a vegetarian.) Yesterday I went with one of the designers (there are only two) to pick up some samples of "corn carpet". Corn carpet! It's made out of corn! It is very environmentally friendly as well as incredibly durable and stain resistant. It's so popular right now, they are having a hard time keeping it in stock. (that corn carpet is so hot right now... zoolander? anyone?) Anyway, I am such a dork when it comes to these things that I was giddy at the carpet place when he was telling us about it. I think I was mostly just giddy because I'm so happy to be doing this again. Working yesterday made me realize how much this stupid, boring desk job (i.e. being on facebook all day) is rotting my brain. I can't even tell you how much I am looking forward to running around and deadlines and pressure and creativity and net-working and making calls and working hard. Plus, we work out of a really nice condo downtown and I'm gonna get a keycard to it which means I can use the pool and the gym! And my boss may give me a blackberry. Yeah... I'm pretty excited.

The Cat Days of Summer

Well good Monday morning to you people. I hope your weekend was as great as mine. I'm sorry to say though that I'm fairly positive it wasn't- because mine was pretty untouchable. It's ok though, don't feel bad, i just got lucky.. I think I won the weekend lottery. It could happen to you someday! If you keep yourself open.. Weekend jackpot, however, means shitty Monday. So you can at least be happy if you are wide awake without bruises, sunburned skin and yawns that make it difficult to function normally. No such luck for me. But I'll take it; it's a small price to pay. Here's the story- I'll start with Friday morning...


I wake up at 8 to be at an interview at 10:15. My normal get-ready time is about 15 minutes but once I open my eyes this morning, my mind begins racing and I struggle to keep my nerves at bay. I need to get dressed, eat, and put together my portfolio. I arrive at the Icon building just in time and meet with the girls from JL Design. Barely into the interview, I am asked if I am aware that the first three months of the internship is unpaid. I try to hide my surprise, shock and horror but I'm fairly positive I'm unsuccessful.

"Are you ok with that?" She asks.

Huh? What?? No!

"Uh.. ok, yeah, yes.."

Damn it.

We proceed. I am very honest with them. They love my portfolio. After we're done, she gives me a hug and asks if I want to lay out by the pool with them. I have a good feeling about the interview.

I go transfer phone calls for four hours and I'm out at 4:59. Ha. Take that, man.

It's happy hour. It's made an even happier hour with the phone call offering me the internship. I join some co-workers at Chili's and celebrate with two-for-one wine. This is a very pleasant start to an unsuspecting weekend. I convince one of them to join me for a friend's birthday party and we're off in his car, leaving mine to camp out in the parking lot for the next 2 days. We grab some booze, a sister and our swimsuits and make our way.

We arrive at a house that is entirely too nice to be any of ours (my friend is house-sitting - don't worry she got permission to have a party). We enter the gate and I swear I hear an angelic "ahhhh" as I gaze upon the glittery pool and its amenities. We crank the music and begin to fill the hot tub with bodies, Sesame Street Count style- 5 pretty party people, 6 pretty party people, 7...8... 15! 15 pretty party people! ah ah ah... And thus begins the debauchery. You can imagine how the evening played out.. Not too many different outcomes for the hot tub + half naked people + booze equation. It was indeed a magical mess. At who knows what hour, when we're all pruney and drunk, we slowly disperse in search of beds, sofas, corners and crevices to claim.


9am. Good morning! Though I'm sure I've only had a few hours of sleep, the thought of the sun beating down on those lonely pool chairs is one I can't bear. Armed with a redhead-sized bottle of SPF 30, I make my way out to keep one company. One by one, I see sleepyheads squinting in the sun as they emerge. We spend the rest of the day like cats- napping in the sun, eating, playing, eating and napping some more.

In the evening, we take the baby blue convertible VW bug (she's car-sitting too) out to Arrington Vineyards and continue our cat-like behavior on a blanket on a hill looking out over the beautiful Tennessee country-side and listening to jazz. This makes the 2 hour wait for the wine tasting bearable, if not preferable. Now, when it comes to wine, I love the good stuff, but I settle for the cheap stuff. So, I'm swirling and I'm smelling and I'm tasting and it's all very lovely and they pour my last choice- a raspberry wine.

"Take a sip," he says, "then wait a minute and I'll give you a chocolate truffle to taste with it." I take a sip; I bite the truffle; I take another sip. Oh. My. Goodness. Are. You. Serious. Am I blushing? This actually feels inappropriate to be doing in public. Wow. I think I need a cigarette...

We're back on the blanket and the heat is finally being replaced by the kind of soothing breeze that only a clear summer night can produce. Our sun-burned skin is thankful as we watch the culprit sink behind trees and the blue sky darken.

When it reaches navy, we haul ourselves back the world of concrete and neon for, you guessed it, more drinking. We fill ourselves with too much beer and unidentifiable fried things before making it back to our weekend home we've named "the commune".

Into the hot tub we fall once again. Even less clothed than the night before, we channel middle school days and MTV Real World for a game of truth or--

CENSORED

--white light coming through the blinds. I feel like I've been sleeping in a cloud and I never want to move. I check my phone. It's broken. I close my eyes.


I hear laughing, dogs barking, techno music. I remember where I am and stretch my legs in my cloud. I blink my eyes open and see the beautiful smiling faces of friends. I check my phone. It's broken.

"What time is it?" Oh my, I sound like a man..

"11:30! get your ass up!" You don't have to tell me twice! I spring from my cloud, rub my eyes and throw my swimsuit on. The hardwood of the deck is warm on my bare feet as I venture outside to a scene that is becoming remarkably familiar. I yawn and smile at my friends. It's day two of eating, napping, swimming, sunning, grilling, singing, dancing, loving... oh heavenly day. Today, we grill. Publix, here we come. I grab the first shirt, shorts and shoes I can find and jump into the bug without opening the door (as far as I'm concerned that's the only way to get into a convertible).

I'm squeezing a delicious-looking mango in the produce section when I become painfully aware of the ridiculousness of my attire- a wife beater, my high school gym shorts- with my bathing suit strings sticking out of the top, and black shiny high tops. This is all complete with a hastily pulled up ballerina bun directly on top of my head. I catch a stare from a cardigan-clad soccer mom and smile.

We get back to the commune with 5 bags of deliciousness and fire up the grill, though we could probably just set everything in the sun for a bit it's so hot. We make kabobs with peppers and pineapple and mushrooms and zucchini (and several varieties of dead animals for the meat-eaters) We dip blue tortilla chips in salsa and hummus. There is macaroni salad and some kind of really awesome banana bread and watermelon and pie.. mm mm mm.. it's an exquisite spread. Soon we are full to the brim and leave the flies to the tiny leftover bits as we drape ourselves over the lawn furniture and drift into food comas. We are in and out of cat naps as the end is drawing near.

Eventually, the dreaded is here. It is inevitable. I pack up my stuff and wave goodbye to the commune.

I'm still groggy when I get back to my real home. My short evening plays out like this- I do a little cleaning, a little mental-sorting, throw a movie on and am asleep by 10. I dream of flying on the backs of butterflies. Not really. That was the only made up part of this story. The rest was real. Real and really glorious.

Glorious, glorious weekend.

First comes love, then comes Europe

I've been a bad bad blogger... when was my last post? like 2 weeks ago? my oh my... It's been one of those moments where there is too much going on to focus in on any one thing with any amount of coherency. I'll attempt to give a little update.

We'll start with the good. I have been pushing really hard again to get some things going. First of all, I need to be making more money- I haven't even paid my rent for this month yet. So I've been whoring my skills and abilities on Craigslist as usual and have gotten some bites this time. I have spoken with a couple people about doing some singing for them, which is great- session work would be a beautiful gift to me right now. I met with a guy about watching his little 3-year-old and I think I'll probably start that in about a week. I've been painting and I think I'm almost ready to put my stuff up somewhere so I've been talking with couple people about that. I also have an interview with an interior design company that I am incredibly excited (and nervous) about. I also plan on taking my resume to all the interior design companies in Nashville along with a letter I wrote if this one doesn't work out. And lastly, my friend asked me to join his cover band which I think would be really fun. You see, so many things are on the verge.. It's a little overwhelming but I've learned that you have to cast a wide net so I'm sure that once everything plays out, some things will work and others will fall through and hopefully I'll be left with a nice amount of goings-on. These are my efforts to get a little more income flowing without comprimising the track that I'm on- that is the pursuit of creative, inspiring things. What I don't want to have happen is that I end up working fulltime on things that are not moving me forward- i.e. receptionist-ing and babysitting for 40 hours a week. I really feel like I'm making progress right now and thats too much time lost.

The bad things that have been occupying my time are some health issues.. I don't really wanna talk about it too much but I'll just say that my body seems to be freaking out on me and I have no idea why. Started the whole thing off with a UTI and its been one random ailment after another.. now I have 2 big canker sores on the inside of my lip and I swear my lip is swelling because of them. This morning I felt like I was gonna throw up.. that coulda been cause I didn't eat breakfast.. I don't know.. I guess the canker sores could be stress? Anyway, its not been fun, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

So, back to life-y stuff, I have had 2 conversations recently- with Aaron and with my mom- about my ultimate goal and my idea of "success" and I been really doing some reevaluating. Also, in my discussion with my mom I kindof nailed down the 4 things that I am interested in pursuing in my life, they are, in a somewhat particular order: Music (as an artist-writing, playing, singing, performing), Visual Art, Interior Design, and Fashion. And of course, I didn't know where to stick this on the list because I'd like it to be incorporated into everything, but I'd like to serve people. I want my music and art to help people in some way and I also want to use my success to further causes that I believe in.

So, I've been thinking about long-term and short-term goals and here are some ideas- first of all, here is a picture of what I'd like my life to look like right now: Working 25 hours a week as an assistant to an interior designer, selling my paintings at galleries and coffee shops, doing vocal work here and there- sessions and bgv stuff, playing with the cover band (which is good money and practice!), playing shows with Trudy Chase and making clothes as the last priority but just to keep it going then maybe by next year I'd have enough to have a line in Naked Without Us. So that would last for the next year and would build up to next summer when Meredith and I leave for our Europe tour. :) I mean, it sounds like a damn good plan to me.. Then we tour Europe with Trudy Chase for the summer and well, from there, I guess we become international superstars what else? :)