TFLN

I've been on textsfromlastnight.com for the last hour. Here are some highlights:

(403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

(215): I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

(919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

(970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.

(403): If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me