Last night I had all my sisters over for a good old fashioned sleepover. Meredith, Audrey and Sarah. Let me explain my family real quick. My parents are divorced and have both been re-married for over 10 years. (12 maybe?) They both have had children with their new spouses so I have siblings that are as much as 16 years younger than me. So last night My dad's little girl, Sarah, 9, and my mom's girl, Audrey, 8, came over to spend the night with Meredith and I. It was really fun to see Audrey and Sarah play together. We all had dinner at my mom's house first and on our way back to my apartment I suddenly had this kind of panicked feeling about having all my sisters in the car together. I let my mind go to that "what if" place, you know? when you think about things you shouldn't. "if anything happened to us right now, our brothers would lose their sisters and our parents would lose all their daughters!" Why on earth was I thinking about this? I don't know. I stopped but I kept it at 10 and 2 with my eyes glued to the road. I think the fact that my mind went there was just an extention of feeling so happy at that moment that I wanted to grab everything and hold it in place. I didn't want time or anything else to take it away. Feelings are a funny thing. Sorta like Jeopardy. The feeling comes like an answer for which you don't know the question. Like the maternal pang of x emotion that came over me in the car with those girls that left me wondering what it was that hit me. Was it seeing Audrey with a "sister" her age? Let me explain Audrey for a second. She is THE sweetest person you will ever meet. Loves everyone and is not too cool to show it. She is a tall lanky girl with glasses and a bit of a bunny rabbit situation. I swear she's gonna grow into all these features and be a 6 foot tall supermodel. But for now, she's a little awkward. She loves to read and write and narrate situations as they happen. She'll come up with a story between the dish rag and the plate as mom is doing the dishes. She has the artist's curse. She has trouble with friends sometimes. This mean girl Katie from back home has told her she is ugly and weird and things like that. Oh and she is also home-schooled. Sarah, on the other hand, is also very sweet, but has the added zing of public schooling. I think she understands social skills a little better but it may have taken a little innocence. She just displays more typical 9 year old behavior. She's an artist as well, loving music and dance and showing very promising writing skills. (I'm serious, she's gonna be good) Here's an anecdote from yesterday evening that may give more insight into their personalities. We're sitting at the table and Audrey asks Sarah, "Do you think I'm weird?" and Sarah says plainly, "no." Then she adds, "If you keep saying you're weird then you'll believe it." And that was that. They were so cute together the rest of the night. I didn't realize they would get along so well. They called each other their "double s" (sister's sister) and said they were gonna live together when they grew up. So, what's the answer to the jeopardy puzzle, "A feeling that came over you in the car with all of your sisters together." hmm... What is.. LOVE?
Back at my apartment, we answered "all of them" to "popcorn, cookies or ice cream?" and snuggled in for Horton Hears a Who. It was a really special night that I know we will all remember forever.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
You Wanna Piece of Me??
Ow, ow, ow.
There is a pain coming from my lower back that feels like a chunk of my skin was cut out. oh wait.. it was. Yesterday. A small brown spot with a slight ring around it was decided to be a possible menace and was extracted and sent away to be examined. Just for being different, how do you like that? that's life though. You aren't hurting anyone, just looking a little different, unique, but you scare people with your new ideas and your color and so they get rid of you. Just like that. Cut you out and send you away.
wow, did I really just turn my mole-removal into a political comment? Only me. That was completely tongue and cheek in case you didn't get that. I'm not completely sure what tongue and cheek is. Or if it is tongue in cheek. Or if there should be some dashes in the phrase. Hmm..
Let's move on. But before we do, I'd like to quickly remind you that my back hurts. Ok, now then. (that doesn't really make sense.. now? then? which is it?) Anyway, here there. ok.
Let me ask you something. Do you worry about anyone? I mean in particular. Do you have a friend or relative or maybe your grocer that you just think if anyone is gonna do X (X=get addicted to hard drugs, go postal, turn into a hermit, ask you out, etc.) it's gonna be this person? It's funny how some people just make you a little nervous.. There's just something a little off. And you make sure and stand back a few feet further than you normally would.
I'm not sure why I brought this up, seems like that should have been setting up a good story like, "well let me tell you about Larry..."
Well. Let me tell you about Larry.
Oh Larry. Most of the time everything was fine. I brought my groceries to the counter and paid for them with dollars and small talk. But some days he had this twitch. He didn't seem to really see me or remember all of the other times our lives intersected based on our mutual need to feed our families. "How are the children?" reverted to, "paper or plastic, ma'am?" and familiar eyes were slightly glazed over and very much distant. On these days I didn't press him. I returned his "ma'am" with "sir" and silently reprimanded myself as I walked through the lazy automatic door for hoping that his wife would give him a good lay tonight.
Larry had an accidental mullet made up of greying frizz. The mess sat atop his pointed head and fell into his eyes. He swept it behind his ears with a dainty motion that contrasted his tall burly figure. On the days he twitched, it stayed in his face. He was like an over-grown fairy with a beer-belly. He appeared as if he was forged inside of a funnel. He was a collage of magazine clippings. His petite features were found in a mascara ad on page 8 and pasted onto the body of the lumberjack selling weed-eater on page 26. He spoke in complete sentences which accounted for the pause before each one. "Come in from the wind and allow me to ask, how does this chilly evening find you?" Bantor was sport and he contrived wit that would astound, were it in rhythm, but instead confused after the silence that stood as it was birthed in his head. On days that he twitched, you could actually see the labor reflected in his face. Occasionally it was a still-birth. Whatever was brewing visibly vanished and he would look down at me in the lingering silence, asking "what are you waiting for?" Against all my reasoning, he scared me on the twitching days. As I stopped in front of and then walked through the antique automatic doors, I reprimanded my melodramatic self for picturing him slamming his fist on the scanner and grabbing the next customer by the shirt collar. I glanced back just to make sure. Of course, he was just scanning and twitching. One of these days, I told myself. I visited the Apple Mart as often as possible just to make sure i'd be there when he lost it.
I wish that I could continue this story now with a "one day, I really needed some milk. Little did I know this would be the last twitching day.." or maybe "One day, as I neared the little store, my eyes focused on flashing lights and caution tape.." Unfortunately, though, the story ends here with "one day I walked in and he was gone." Just like that. I never found out what happened. Sure, I have my theories. What do you think happened to Larry?
There is a pain coming from my lower back that feels like a chunk of my skin was cut out. oh wait.. it was. Yesterday. A small brown spot with a slight ring around it was decided to be a possible menace and was extracted and sent away to be examined. Just for being different, how do you like that? that's life though. You aren't hurting anyone, just looking a little different, unique, but you scare people with your new ideas and your color and so they get rid of you. Just like that. Cut you out and send you away.
wow, did I really just turn my mole-removal into a political comment? Only me. That was completely tongue and cheek in case you didn't get that. I'm not completely sure what tongue and cheek is. Or if it is tongue in cheek. Or if there should be some dashes in the phrase. Hmm..
Let's move on. But before we do, I'd like to quickly remind you that my back hurts. Ok, now then. (that doesn't really make sense.. now? then? which is it?) Anyway, here there. ok.
Let me ask you something. Do you worry about anyone? I mean in particular. Do you have a friend or relative or maybe your grocer that you just think if anyone is gonna do X (X=get addicted to hard drugs, go postal, turn into a hermit, ask you out, etc.) it's gonna be this person? It's funny how some people just make you a little nervous.. There's just something a little off. And you make sure and stand back a few feet further than you normally would.
I'm not sure why I brought this up, seems like that should have been setting up a good story like, "well let me tell you about Larry..."
Well. Let me tell you about Larry.
Oh Larry. Most of the time everything was fine. I brought my groceries to the counter and paid for them with dollars and small talk. But some days he had this twitch. He didn't seem to really see me or remember all of the other times our lives intersected based on our mutual need to feed our families. "How are the children?" reverted to, "paper or plastic, ma'am?" and familiar eyes were slightly glazed over and very much distant. On these days I didn't press him. I returned his "ma'am" with "sir" and silently reprimanded myself as I walked through the lazy automatic door for hoping that his wife would give him a good lay tonight.
Larry had an accidental mullet made up of greying frizz. The mess sat atop his pointed head and fell into his eyes. He swept it behind his ears with a dainty motion that contrasted his tall burly figure. On the days he twitched, it stayed in his face. He was like an over-grown fairy with a beer-belly. He appeared as if he was forged inside of a funnel. He was a collage of magazine clippings. His petite features were found in a mascara ad on page 8 and pasted onto the body of the lumberjack selling weed-eater on page 26. He spoke in complete sentences which accounted for the pause before each one. "Come in from the wind and allow me to ask, how does this chilly evening find you?" Bantor was sport and he contrived wit that would astound, were it in rhythm, but instead confused after the silence that stood as it was birthed in his head. On days that he twitched, you could actually see the labor reflected in his face. Occasionally it was a still-birth. Whatever was brewing visibly vanished and he would look down at me in the lingering silence, asking "what are you waiting for?" Against all my reasoning, he scared me on the twitching days. As I stopped in front of and then walked through the antique automatic doors, I reprimanded my melodramatic self for picturing him slamming his fist on the scanner and grabbing the next customer by the shirt collar. I glanced back just to make sure. Of course, he was just scanning and twitching. One of these days, I told myself. I visited the Apple Mart as often as possible just to make sure i'd be there when he lost it.
I wish that I could continue this story now with a "one day, I really needed some milk. Little did I know this would be the last twitching day.." or maybe "One day, as I neared the little store, my eyes focused on flashing lights and caution tape.." Unfortunately, though, the story ends here with "one day I walked in and he was gone." Just like that. I never found out what happened. Sure, I have my theories. What do you think happened to Larry?
Monday, December 29, 2008
At Some Point In My Life...
At some point in my life, I'd like to spend a year travelling around the world, playing music on the street and living off the change I make. I'd like to meet people, especially other artists, and create music and art with them. Maybe my sister would come with me. Or it could be not so homeless/hippie and we could actually plan some sort of tour in Europe. Book some shows and sell our CDs all across the country. That might be a little better. Wow, I really wanna do that. Here's some inspiration:
Back to the grind
Back at the office. What a relief. For at least four hours I can pretend that it's over. Pretend that I won't have to call 5 people as soon as I leave to see what the 'plan' for the evening is. You see, it's December 29th and most people are packing up the tree, waving goodbye to family, cleaning up and letting their previous rhythms settle back into place. But for me this year, Christmas will not end. Once the scent of pine trees and gingerbread began to leak into the air, my life became a revolving door of visitors. Grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles- some of my very favorite people in the world- have come to have their special dinners and special games and special gifts and special evenings. It's making me especially tired and fat. As far as I can see the official end of it all is still about 5 days out. Five days, several unopened presents, a couple gallons of eggnog and one New Year's Eve party away. Can I make it? I suppose you'll have to check back this weekend to see. Give me a few days; if you don't see a post by, say, next Wednesday, then get worried. For now though, I'm enjoying having to be somewhere. Sorry, but I HAVE to!
Anyway, I hope your Christmas was lovely and is ending. Mine really was/is nice. I'm enjoying myself very much and pretending that losing my second job isn't going to completely screw me. For now, I just feel like I'm on vacation!
Anyway, I hope your Christmas was lovely and is ending. Mine really was/is nice. I'm enjoying myself very much and pretending that losing my second job isn't going to completely screw me. For now, I just feel like I'm on vacation!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Are We Human?
Or are we dancer?
That's a good question, Mr. Killer. And also, nice song. thanks for making that song so that i can listen to it. Also, I like the 3rd one on the album, the one about storm-makers and dream-makers, not sure what its called.. Oh and a big not-thank you to my computer for making that particular track sound really weird and skippy. 'preciate it. ass.
Anyway, to the rest of you, Happy Christmas Eve. I hope you are not working like me but enjoying all the pre-game festivities. Last minute shopping, wrapping, cooking, travelling... I have a few of those to do today. I think i'll head over to Target during my lunch break..
Wow, I'm seriously bored. Probly because no one else is working today, and therefore, no one is calling. And furthermore, I am not needed. Buuuut, I do need the hours so I'm not going to complain. anymore. Right after this; fmuhhahh.. this sucks. ok, now i'm done. It think we're goonna get to go early anyway..
THIS JUST IN: I have just recieved word that we are closing our doors at 12:00 noon. That is in 22 minutes so i'm going to quit my bitching. You 2 have a great and merry Christmas and I'll see you on the other side.
That's a good question, Mr. Killer. And also, nice song. thanks for making that song so that i can listen to it. Also, I like the 3rd one on the album, the one about storm-makers and dream-makers, not sure what its called.. Oh and a big not-thank you to my computer for making that particular track sound really weird and skippy. 'preciate it. ass.
Anyway, to the rest of you, Happy Christmas Eve. I hope you are not working like me but enjoying all the pre-game festivities. Last minute shopping, wrapping, cooking, travelling... I have a few of those to do today. I think i'll head over to Target during my lunch break..
Wow, I'm seriously bored. Probly because no one else is working today, and therefore, no one is calling. And furthermore, I am not needed. Buuuut, I do need the hours so I'm not going to complain. anymore. Right after this; fmuhhahh.. this sucks. ok, now i'm done. It think we're goonna get to go early anyway..
THIS JUST IN: I have just recieved word that we are closing our doors at 12:00 noon. That is in 22 minutes so i'm going to quit my bitching. You 2 have a great and merry Christmas and I'll see you on the other side.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It's Tuesday / Happy Chrstmas Eve Eve
It's Tuesday and I'm at work. You may be thinking, huh that's strange I thought she only worked monday wednesday and friday. And to that I say, stop reading this you stalker. More likely though is that you didn't think that because you probably don't know my work schedule. or care. But in case anyone is interested in knowing, I'm just makin up some hours I'm missing out on due to the holly jolly season.
This brings me to my next question [was there a first question?] You may have recently thought to yourself, "I wonder how her other job is going.." [that wasn't even a question] And to that I say, "define going.." I mean, what makes a good job? stability? time off around the holidays? well, then, i have the best job ever. I have all that. In fact, i don't even have to go back after the holidays! Yep. That's right. My ass is toast. I know, I'm appalled too. Who wouldn't want me gracing their establishment with my presence on a near daily basis? Beats me.. Anyway, it's no biggie, i'll be fine. I'm a glass half full kinda girl. (that reminded me of a Demetri Martin sketch I watched the other day where he tells about glass half full/half empty so I tried to find it on youtube but i couldn't, but i found this clip which is funny too..
he's just really funny and you should watch more of him) Anyway, back to me being fired.. it's just some bullshit but it's ok i'll live.
This guy that I work with came in this morning with a very festive sweater, santa hat, and was humming "Santa Claus is Coming Tonight". wow. that's some christmas spirit right there. mmhmm...
I think I may have run out of things to say right now. I started watching YouTube and it pretty much went down hill from there so.. ttyl.
This brings me to my next question [was there a first question?] You may have recently thought to yourself, "I wonder how her other job is going.." [that wasn't even a question] And to that I say, "define going.." I mean, what makes a good job? stability? time off around the holidays? well, then, i have the best job ever. I have all that. In fact, i don't even have to go back after the holidays! Yep. That's right. My ass is toast. I know, I'm appalled too. Who wouldn't want me gracing their establishment with my presence on a near daily basis? Beats me.. Anyway, it's no biggie, i'll be fine. I'm a glass half full kinda girl. (that reminded me of a Demetri Martin sketch I watched the other day where he tells about glass half full/half empty so I tried to find it on youtube but i couldn't, but i found this clip which is funny too..
he's just really funny and you should watch more of him) Anyway, back to me being fired.. it's just some bullshit but it's ok i'll live.
This guy that I work with came in this morning with a very festive sweater, santa hat, and was humming "Santa Claus is Coming Tonight". wow. that's some christmas spirit right there. mmhmm...
I think I may have run out of things to say right now. I started watching YouTube and it pretty much went down hill from there so.. ttyl.
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