Breaking Down and Rebuilding

Shortly after that last post I had a little bit of a break down. I think you could call it that. It started coming on one evening slowly. I couldn't tell exactly what I was feeling. I was stressed and irritable and frustrated but I couldn't pinpoint a cause. Then, that night, the floodgates opened and I realised- that's all I really needed, a good cry. It was such a release. And a relief! My poor boyfriend though.. probably thought I was crazy.. Normally I prefer to have my emotional breakdowns in private but hey, what can you do? Thank goodness he loves me :)

I'm very focused and driven most of the time. I'm very goal-oriented. But I think everyone just gets weighed down from time to time. I am working very hard right now on a lot of different things- I'm painting (just sold my first 2 paintings last week), working on music with my sister (just played our first show last weekend), working 3 days a week at the only job thats making me a steady, though meager, income, and working/interning 2 days for an interior designer. I am also trying to devote some time to making clothes which has been something I've wanted to do for a while now. Then of course there's the new relationship and well, just life- I haven't worked out in I-don't-know-how-long and my house is a mess. BUT, I'm not complaining because this is a decision that I made- to go for it all at once- and I know my hard work will pay off, it already has begun to. I will say that having to ignore calls from collection agencies because I know I don't have a dime to give them, avoiding cops on the road because my tags have been expired since April, and borrowing money from my dad to get my phone service reconnected on top off all of this- not fun. I just get tired sometimes. I get tired of working my ass off and still being ass-broke. *sigh* But I know this is just a phase of my life and I will reap the benefits of my investments sooner or later. My vote is for sooner.

Anyway, I am feeling energized again after my little episode of exhaustion and I'm ready to hit the ground running.

*** I actually wrote this post last week but my computer here at work sucks and so it wouldn't post. So I had saved it to try again later. Today it worked but now its outdated. So just know that a couple things have changed- I got a little money, got my tags renewed, sold another painting (to my mom, but still..) and am generally just feeling better about life.