#2

I have a thing about drinking liquids out of their appropriate containers. For example, I was once served hot tea out of a clear glass, like a water glass. nope, not ok. I'm pretty sure I never went back there. I don't like wine out of a champagne glass or a desert glass (you know the ones that resemble wine glasses but ARE NOT) or a brandy glass- just cause it has a stem does not make it a wine glass. The exceptions are: at my friend Kacie's house (well, her old house, when she lived in this country), wine is drank (drunk? drinked?) from coffee mugs. That's just what you do at her house. You drink from wine mugs. Also, I don't mind hot tea from a coffee mug, I don't even own any proper tea cups. And I don't go as far as pairing the appropriate wine with the wine glass, just as long as it is a wine glass. I'd like to, actually, but I get over it cause i'm not that rich. I have a set of 12 wine glasses from big lots. But I will not drink water out of them. And yes the only things I drink are tea, water and wine. basically.

Indeed

One of my favorite posts from one of my favorite writers. Check it out, its very good.

#1

I like to have everything put up, all my stuff together with the lights and computer off and my hand on the door handle at exactly 4:59 but not earlier when leaving work. Then I wait to hear the automatic door lock and I leave.

Can't Sleep

I find him interesting
intriguing
beautifully distracting
There a rhythm to the things he says
It bounces in my head
echoing
It's 5 am and I should be sleeping
but my mind is aimlessly repeating
words and sounds and motions
I'm not happy to be helpless
I feel open and exposed
In a scary and delightful way
This is strange
I'm very good at sleeping
But he's got me rolling
I'm so uncomfortable
this is so unfortunately enjoyable
I'm terrified
I just want to sleep
I just want to sleep until I can see him again
What is going on
Letters and spaces
capitalized and punctuated
fill my head please
replace this madness for a few hours

*Disclaimer: This is not a poem. These are the stupid ramblings of my mind at 5 am when I've finally given up pressing my eyelids shut and trying to fill my mind with zeros just to take up space and find some rest. This is the kind of thing I may dissect later and write a song about.. or not.

Just satisfying my soul today...

It's free-for-all-friday! I'm just gonna keep this window open and share with you the random things that go through my mind.

I've always loved Kate Moss's style. It's like mine, but with money... :) and skinnier.

Are you kidding me? she's just ridiculously hot.


I don't like to admit things like this, but, I am kinda trying to lose a couple pounds right now.. just a couple.. I'm keeping track of everything at myfitnesspal.com and it's actually really helping. I also started exercising about 4 times a week and am going to start training for the music city half marathon that's in April. I just have these little places where I haven't been chubby before and now I am... Pictures like to one above inspire me! I'm young enough, i could look like that! I'm supposed to go running with some people tomorrow but I'm going skiing instead :) ha.

On facebook, there's this thing going around where you write a note with 25 random things about yourself in it and tag your friends in it and they're supposed to do the same... I haven't done it yet. At first it was because i don't like those chain things and i thought 'if you wanna know about me then hang out with me in person and ask!' but now the urge to talk about myself is getting pretty strong and i'm enjoying reading other peoples' a lot... I've been reading so many that through out the day i think of things that would be on my list- i'll do something and then think to myself "#19. I always do such and such.." It's getting kinda weird. SO, i think i'll start listing them on here sporadically and if i come up with a satisfactory list of 25 then MAYBE i'll post it on facebook. So, um.... see? i can't think of anything.

Here's more Kate Moss for you. (i google image searched her..)

you know what i love about this picture? the carpet and the walls :) snake skin walls?? are you serious?? amazing. I sent this pic to my sister (who i live with [should that have been whom?]) and said, 'we need some ridiculousness in our apartment'. so we're working on it. she bought some awesome little turquoise monster trinket.. it's pretty sweet. still i'm thinkin bigger-like a big crazy rug or tapestry or something.. although i think the little monster trinket was cheaper..

Hey, so i'm doing really well on my money stuff! i haven't really spent any money all week! until yesterday, my sister and i went out to this amazing sushi place downtown called sam's sushi- if you live in nashville it is a MUST. HUGE sushi rolls for so cheap. It's this tiny little place downtown- i mean tiny- and it's run by Sam, just Sam. and he doesn't allow tipping. He's there everyday from 11 or 12 to 8. We were there at around 6 but he gave us the lunch special which is 2 rolls for 4.75! and they're big, i couldn't eat both, i brought leftovers for lunch today. anyway, other than that, i haven't spent anything. just nine more days to go til i get paid again. It won't be much of a different situation then though... i'll be paying bills with every dollar and then living on the pennies that are left. But that's ok cause I'm enjoying actually having time to do things like help my parents move last weekend, hang out with Meredith yesterday and this weekend with Brian (who was on Access Hollywood last night!! woot!) anyway, i'm proud of myself though cause i'm really bad about throwing caution to the wind and just sayin screw it. (i do need to find a little extra income however.. just some part-time here and there work, nannying or something)

So Trudy Chase is really coming along.. We got some bells and have been messing with them, it's really fun. I want to find some other random instruments to play with. We set up a photoshoot with my friend Stephanie and here are somethings that inspire me in one way or another for the shoot-
I like how this pic looks, i'll have to ask her how to get that effect...

I like how this one is on a plain wall, i think it would be cool to do some like that, especially a white wall with white or plain clothes, but our hair is red so it'd really stand out

here are some examples of pics of two people:




Here's some others that i just like:




Ok well its lunch time so bye.

Fat Kid-alicious

You probably know that I work part time as a receptionista. I answer the phones and receive packages and greet the few people that come in. That's what I do with about 1/10th of my time here. The rest is spent blogging, online shopping, facebooking, reading, or trying to be productive with personal stuff. Occasionally someone will come by to brown-nose someone in the company and they'll entrust me to deliver the goodie(s) and/or card(s). I smile, thank them and wait for the elevator door to shut behind them before inspecting the package and devising a plan to extract my "commission". In order for me to partake unnoticed, the package must be resealable (a box, a tin can or some that ties shut)and the treats must be in multiples (cookies, candies, not a box of chocolates, not a cake.. you get it). If I find that I can take a reasonable amount out, undetected, you better believe i do. So today when a local hotel rep dropped a little Valentine's treat off for ol' Susan, I was delighted to see that the plastic resealable container contained M&Ms. Piece a cake. So I had a few. Then a few more. Then just a couple more... And now, well, it looks like someone at the hotel didn't buy enough M&Ms... So tell me first of all, how fat kid is this, and second, how wrong would it be to eat them all and throw away the container and just give her the card?? yeah, i know.... VERY fat kid and quite wrong. ok ok.


*Update: Just to let you know, i just called her to let her know they're up here. happy now?


*Final Update: She just came up here to get them and I think she was a little suspicious... she looked at the can funny and said, "hmm, that's odd." I shrugged. Then she offered me some and I said, "sure, thanks!"

money money money money

I suppose I'm not the only one trying to save money and cut back on spending in a time like this but this is no new trick for me. We artists are used to income that is only dependable in the fact that is low. It's ok. We just earn here and spend there and maybe save a little here. I'm proud to say, though, and speaking very generally of course, that we do know how to enjoy life. We've decided to sacrifice certain things because we want our lives filled with inspiration and beauty. Or perhaps it was a decision made for us when we simply weren't blessed with the money-managing skills but instead with a set of useless beautifying tricks. Ok, yes, I'm just talking about myself. So this is where I am and this is where I have been. I go through the phases- 2 jobs, 1 job, busy, lazy, productive, spending, hoarding, saving- but I haven't given up finding a beautifully happy medium where I live at peace with my creative soul as well as the creditors. I am now in the verge of what I believe may be that very happy place. Here's what happened:

A couple months ago, I was working steady two part time jobs, making enough money to live on with minimal stress (for a frame of reference, that was no more than $2000 a month). I was fired from one job right before Christmas, leaving working 24 hours a week at an office and bringing home about $1000 a month. My being let go had nothing to do with the economy and I could get another restaurant job easily, i'm sure, if i were to look. I wrote what happened earlier if you wanna read what happened.. just some bullshit. Anyway, I really enjoyed having more time to spend with all the family that came into town and getting to be a part of all the fun Holiday events, including New Year's Eve which I would have had to work. As the holiday season settled down like confetti, I braced myself for what I knew would come as the last remnants of full time employment trickled away. I feel as if I am hinging on with one hand as a storm blows by. I can see the end and I just have to hang on! You see, my car, which represents a substantial portion of my bills, will be paid off in mere weeks and I have also been getting some vocal work here and there which could increase to a small but significant income supplement and with hard work, self-control, and creativity I could live on only this one job! Why is that so important you ask? Well, I will tell you. My eyes have been opened since being fired. I have made new friends, been there for people when they needed someone, supported my friends' art, written more, read more, gotten involved and actually met people at my church, I've been creating more art, and most importantly been making A LOT of progress with my music! This is what my life is about. If the trade-off is that i get to go to my friend's show but I can't drink at it cause i don't have any money, well, that's perfectly fine! I'll take it! Or maybe I get to spend the day writing music at home, but that means I can't go to the movies. No problem! However, these scenarios will quickly turn into ones such as: Can't pay my rent cause I had to fix my tire. You see, where the barely hanging on image shows up. But I have a newly strengthened will to live the life that is barely visible through the swirl of this financial storm: a life lived fully yet creatively within my means while building and aiming for a bright future. (haha that sounded like some sort of purpose statement or something..)

Wow, I'm long-winded today. I apologize to all two of you reading this. All of this has really been on my mind though lately. I just feel that I am in a very defining, pivotal, significant moment as far as this stuff goes right now, with being fired and being left with one job that is sooo close to enough and one that I actually like, and with my car about to be paid off and with so much happening with my music that I really need time for and then on top of all that, check this out. I never get to go to church things (or rather used to never get to) but I went to a group the other day for college age kids that was going to be discussing 'busy-ness'. I was actually a little bit disappointed when I heard the topic because i thought, 'I'm the least busy that I've been in a long time, this won't really apply to me', but I went to socialize and meet people from my church. I actually ended up getting a ton out of it! What I took was actually more of a look at values than busy-ness. Since that discussion I have been exploring the questioning of standards like 40 hour work weeks and week long vacations and credit cards and laziness. Am I lazy if I actually get enough sleep every night? Am I lazy if I only work 24 hours a week? Am I lazy to actually break on the weekend? Is a business man lazy if he leaves work everyday to eat dinner with his family? I think it's smart to take a look and perhaps readjust our American programming to line up with what's really important in life and that is people.

My goodness, I am the queen of tangents. What I intended on saying was a much more concise note of my strong desire to and need to save money in order to protect my precious freedom. Something like: Since having a significant portion of my income detached, instead of trying to repair the hole, I am adjusting my life in an attempt to fill the time instead of pass the time- to fill my life instead of watch it pass me by. Time that would be spent aimlessly earning money to essentially throw away will be creatively enjoyed with people that I love, doing things that lift my soul. I also wanted to pass along some moolah-saving tricks I've come across in my research.

Of course there are the usual things, most of which are old news to me: pack your lunch for work, do your own mani's, buy boxed wine (i promise it's not that bad), trade a night out for a game night or movie night in, coupons, generic products, matinees, craigslist (I'm an addict), etc... But let's dig a little deeper. This is what I call "How to Live on Love":

I bought $16 worth of groceries today and I am determined for them to last me 3 weeks. How do I plan on doing this? Well, I bought really cheap cans of soup and black beans, a bag of apples, saltine crackers, tuna and brown rice- not the instant kind, oatmeal- not the individual packets, and at home I think I have a little bit of pasta, potatoes and condiments. I am going to visit my parents for dinner often, attend evening events with food (church things, parties, etc), take free food whenever offered, only drink free alcohol, and take tea from work (ok, that's a little wrong..) and not munch just for the hell of it (which will also be good for my figure). If I have to go out to eat (maybe like a birthday or something) I'll pre-eat and then eat the free rolls or chips! (also just a tiny bit wrong) And if anyone has left-overs they are not taking, I will unashamedly box that shit up.
I am going to get very creative with how I hang out with friends. For example,
friend: Hey wanna get coffee?
me: Why don't we make some at my house and sit out on the balcony?
friend: wow! you're so creatively frugal!
Or when I'm bored and i call Aaron and he comes over and we watch TV for a little bit and then say what do you wanna do? i don't have any money. yeah, me neither. hmm.. I wil suggest that we just take a couple cds and go drive to the park or somewhere and sit in the car and listen to them. Or have some people over to play cards. And when the weather gets nice there will be even more possibilities! I used to do a lot of fun free things like sneak into pools at night and stuff. I guess those things are childish but we used to have fun! haha
The other day i hung out with my brother and his gf and Aaron and we made stuff out of beads.. random.. but fun! anyway, you can see some of the ways i want to be more creative with my recreational time.
Other ways to save money are go here, take free things, move to another country, always think twice before purchasing (Do I really need this? How could I get it for free or at least cheaper?), make stuff-i make my clothes and furniture (but I'm pretty crafty), go to house parties instead of out to a bar, look in the paper for free events, garage sales, waste your time writing the longest post ever, work out/run outside instead of the gym,
Basically my goal is to not spend any money at all, except for bills and food and gas. That's not entirely possible but it makes it way more likely that i will spend next to nothing. I'll keep you updated on how it's going.